So what is this intriguing little bit that Gasset has said that has made me want to discuss this with people? Well it’s a number of things to be honest, one being how love is actually ones self giving an abnormal amount of attention to someone else. Where in this person who is giving the other attention, in a state where they can’t seem to keep their mind off this person. It goes into detail about the entire idea but another thing Gasset says is that falling in love is not a natural state of human being, but actually a choice. He says we choose to be in love, and there is a entirely deeper meaning to whom we choose to love.

He wrote in the conclusion to his one chapter:

“Although all those who fall in love do so in the same way, not all fall in love for the same reason. There is no single quality that is universally loved.”

This made me wonder what does he exactly mean? Is it literal to what he just said, or is it for you to think about, relating it back to your own experiences in love. Personally I believe that we all do fall in love the same way, but as to why we fall in love, it’s a completely different. Some of us love certain people for their charm and charisma, others for their ability to make us laugh and sense of compassion.

Gasset says to us that, although we have had many men and women in our lives (ex’s and such) we tend to have chosen these people because they reflect a bit of ourselves. We choose men and women (different ones) but all that posess something that their previous partners have had, ie. same hair and eye color, or body shape. Whatever it may be, that is what we love.

Honestly, I can go on and on about what he has discussed, and to tell you the truth, this isn’t even the tip of the ice burg. There is so much more to what I have just said here, and this is only my review on what I’ve read about this philosopher on this subject. He’s referenced Plato and many more, but mostly his view on romantic love is astonishing and truly has made me wonder.

I recommend, if you want to be enlightened on the subject (love), you read this book “Philosophies of Love” edited by David L. Norton and Mary F. Kille. It’s not a novel and it’ almost like reading a text book (I think that’s what it is, ha) but it has so much information and thoughts on Love that you will want to read the entire thing.

Thanks for reading.

Djinn~

Have a look :]

www.blog.rojinhamid.com
www.rojinhamid.com

Now if you know any history about the Kurds and the Arabs, they’re not very nice neighbors. I had the privilege for the first time in my life to witness a human being spew hate in front of Arabs and Kurds. He said that Kurds did not deserve the right to vote, and caused a commotion. He directed his anger towards one man to a group of people who were the majority in this town. It really dawned on me how humans can be so prejudice and hateful towards a different culture that they don’t understand.  Why do we hate those we know nothing about? This man was youthful and he seemed to know little about the history of devastation and mass murder against a culture. It reminded me of when Hitler was against the Jewish people. It’s no different from that of WW2. Just like the Jewish people Kurd’s were thrown in jail, camps, gassed, and tortured on sight. There was no mercy, and this man believes we don’t have a right to speak? Ignorance is bliss.

You would think it would end there, but it didn’t. An Assyrian man was in line next to an Arab and the Arab began to make a fuss about the Assyrian man’s hat. On the front he bore his native flag and I thought that was very patriotic when you’re showing up for a vote.  The Assyrian man claimed that he had to right to wear his hat because 1. He was living in a free country, and 2. This was a democracy, and he was going to vote for whom he wanted. The man a good argument that I couldn’t really understand but according to my mother he was right in the way he defended himself.  The Arab knowing that he was in wrong, kissed the Assyrian man’s forehead and apologized for the things he said.

During the fight I was able to catch the name of one particular man whom is deceased. The name was Sadam Hussien. Now I know what you’re thinking, how can something in the past come up in our current election? The thing is, the Assyrian told him that no longer is the country run by a dictator who told you what you can and cannot do. This stirred something inside of me, because I knew that past events had more to do with our current election than any other year.

Arabs and Kurds were tolerating one another in the designated voting area, but I mentioned to my mother that it would have been better if they set up two different places for Arabs and Kurds. It would be wise to do so, because of past hate crime incidents. The signs that were posted said no guns, no smoking, no cameras and no cell phones. I can understand why they would say no gun’s because of the vast difference in people in one room, the threat of having someone or a mass murder was most likely. However in this country it’s not as bad.

It was also there that I was scared that I would not be able to vote. They had been telling people that if you were born in a certain area that was not of your parent’s homeland (Iraq) you were not able to vote. There were a number of Arabs who were not allowed to vote. Their passports were turned down and they had been sent home. After hours of standing in line they were told they had no right to vote, and that worried me. I was born in Turkey Derbehker where most of the Kurdish people were and still living there. My Canadian citizenship granted me right to give my vote, however other people were not so lucky. Even though that their mother and father were of the same culture, religion, and native tongue, they were still not permitted to vote. My father was there and he had the same last name so I was able to pass on to vote. I was lucky in this case but so many others were unfortunate. They seemed to just want to make it difficult for people to have a say in this election.

None the less, all of these events in the 3 hours I was present in Hamilton Ontario was not surprising. I was embarrassed for humanity. You can never really feel anything until you witness it first hand, and for the first time I finally understood. I understood that people can’t put things in the past where it belongs, and I understood that even in a country where we have freedom and tolerance; there are those who walk among us that don’t share the same beliefs.

This is a season where you do get the pain and suffering of shoveling, slipping on ice, and empty wallets (seasonal gifts) but what a beautiful sight when everything is calm. The snow covers just about everything, you get this blanket of white that sparkle like diamonds (no I’m not referring to Twilight, back off people).  Most students, teachers and some people get a few weeks off school/work and lets not forget those snow days (woo!)

I’m not sure why, but I guess as a child I had a lot of fun in the snow and that feeling just stuck with me as I entered teenage and young adult hood. A friend said it was “dangerous” and it is, but I mean, I’m sure more people falling off their roofs (trying to take off christmas lights) land on a large pillow of snow. (Yeah I dunno, sometimes it doesn’t end well and there are sharp things in the pillow haha) but you know, I don’t think winter and snow should be dreaded.

Someone embrace this time with me!? Haha, it’s alright I can enjoy this on my own. I always found looking at snow fascinating anyways. It can always keep me interested. Weird, I know.

Peace~

In this game, you’re taking the role of a truck driver. You get a few weapons along the way when you enter the hospital where you try and check on a patient you saved. Unfortunately it gets worse. You’re basically taken through a huge maze where you need to go forward, then back and it’s so hard to navigate through the place that you will stop and think “wait, was I not just down this hall?” And yes, you were but you need to go back and other doors start opening so you can wonder in and get things you needed when you went downstairs. Stupid, really I don’t see why they make you go up and down up and down. It’s such a waste of my time. Sure if you want to make the game as long as an hour or so you want to do that, but seriously, way to many things happen at once.

I mean, aside from the crappy puzzles you have to solve, the terrible battle system, and the dumb walking around bit, the music and graphics are pretty alright.

Actually I think the music actually scared me the most. The graphics (aka the scenery) was far more appealing than actually playing the game. I found that the music really drove the visuals. Seriously though, I thought it was great that you kind of got a warning that you were going to be going up against these monsters.

If you haven’t played the game, it’s like this. When you enter a room and they have a crazy monster thing in the room and the only thing in your hand is a little television, the scene cuts instantly like …well a cut-scene. The image looks like it’s in an old film where the image is grainy and the sound gets a little more intense.

Though I haven’t seen the entire move of Silent hill, I think that it shouldn’t be compared to the game.
Anyways that’s about it. I need to get back into getting past the intro before I tear this game apart and other gamers hurt me for not liking a lot of things about the game.

Peace~

To be honest, I didn’t think anyone ever really looked at my notes or pictures, etc. However today that proved wrong. I posted a rant (im entitled to a rant, and I said a few nasty things, but didn’t clearify on them) and so a lot of people got upset about it and I enjoyed the opposing feelings (cause I did put it out there that they could tell me whats on their mind (like a video reply on youtube!)

Funny how the moment I open my mouth about an issue, people jump all over me and start calling me nasty names. One person told me to get over my ex because I mentioned his name and how he treats me far less than any other person (who have hurt him deeper) (though I can’t think of how I hurt him). Honestly, I’ve moved on to cuter and better (personality). So much tension. I don’t think he deserved my friendship. It seemed as though everytime I tried to connect, I was ignored and not really recieving the same kind of friendship back. People like that should not be given another minute of my time. I’m sorry, but I don’t think I deserve it.

I’m trying to be positive after feeling so negatively and rants are something I think of as a way to get my anger out. I rather write about what Im thinking (of people I suppose) than beat the living shit out them or confront them verbally. Just not me.

This is why I think it’s funny is because the moment I say something about someone who could be them they freak out and try and defend themselves. Its funny to me. Maybe in a very cruel way, but funny to me.

I don’t care what people say about me, because I’ve tried, I really have, (to be nice, to be helpful, and not to be an ugly person) but sometimes this side of me just wants out. Maybe when I get a lot of it out, (after holding it in for so long) I can get back to the jolly old me, though I already feel happy!!

peace ladies and gents.

The day got better, it was nice outside, (still a little on the chilly side) and class was fairly short. I got some good criticism from my peers, and I was really happy to have sat in on a lecture by an Executive Director for RGD (Registered Graphic Designer). Very informative and very useful information! I also was texting a friend of mine back all day. I wont mention his name, but he made me very happy and of course got me to smile a lot with his replies. Friends like that are amazing and I wish I had more of them.

Well, my psp finally came in and I was actually disappointed in it. It was missing a piece of the back, it’s batter looked cracked, there was no charger and I was forced to put it aside for now. How sad…now I have to wait for a new shell, charger, and still waiting on my memory card. When will this be resolved!? Well I at least have the darn thing (but don’t know if it actually works…) cause who knows if the seller was lying (damn ebay…)

So, after a chat with dear old Councilor, I got home, checked my email and of course started Counter Strike Source. I know, what is a girl like me playing a first-person shooter with a bunch of guys? Well, I like video games and it’s good therapy I suppose hahaha, until you get bored. I get bored after…3 hours? [laughs] not sure how long I was playing for, but it was long!

Well I hope these kinds of days come along again…I do like them and they need to happen a little more often.

I know your true thoughts,
I know where you hide them.
Hail,
I am your servant,
The one that will never leave.

There is no pain,
There are no lies.
Pity,
I had enjoyed it perfidiously.

How sweet is the sound,
Screaming and pleading.
Hell,
Give me back what you stole.

Barb wire caresses my skin,
Bring me war and fury.
Lust,
Just another toy.
Play,
Just with me.
Leave,
…but come back tomorrow.

During my session he learned a lot and said that I definitely had Depression. Well like the other councilor and people who I’ve talked to have diagnosed the same thing. I’m not saying it wasn’t obvious but I just wanted to be sure it’s that again and not my hormones.

Dwight was great though. Just as I was about to cry after spilling my guts (part 1 of spilling my guts) he knew exactly what to say to make me laugh. I mean laughter is key and no I didn’t want to cry in front of him, cause come on, I don’t need to cry while I’m trying to make progress [laughs]. Also, he was new to me and I didn’t want to seem so vulnerable, though it was evident anyways. I let a few tears slip but nothing life changing.

So he’s told me that he’s going to right a letter to the psychiatrist that comes to the school every Wednesday to see patients (students). I really want to take advantage of the opportunity (and hey, it’s free because I’m a student.)

I love the fact that even though Dwight didn’t have any openings next week to see me, he told me to still drop in and see him during the “drop in hours”. I was so excited when he said that, then again there seems to be this thought in my head that he may think I really need the therapy. Ugh, I just don’t know. I wish things were different and not this complicated.

Tempers rise in my eyes
Fallen glass and constant lies
You’re not right for me
no you’re not right for me

Winter days and lonely nights
Far of places and secret fights
There’s nothing left to see
No no nothing left to see

I’m broken down to my last piece
I’ve got you here by my knees
No I don’t think you’re right for me
No I dont think you’re right for me

____________________

gahh!! Okay, so like, I’m really upset right now. i can’t seem to come up with anything good to write. Someone told me I didn’t know how to write a poem and I honestly don’t know why I’m letting it get to me. I love writing poetry, I’ve always have and I love writing lyrics as well, but like, GAH! What makes him think that I can’t write? I’ve had 5 years of english adn creative writing under my belt. I’ve met and spoke with profession poets and I’ve had guidance from a respectable writer/english teacher! So why do I feel so small?

Fuck that okay? I can fucking write a damn poem and shit son, I can write a GREAT poem if I was depressed. Unfortunately I’m not so my muse is hiding somewhere.

Edit:

What the heck was I thinking when I wrote my thoughts on why this poem sucked…obviously it doesn’t suck…